So I've been choosing the most depressive songs for myself for several months now. Songs of hope, songs of love, you know. Then there's one that gave me particular chills for so long, a song of love, seemingly, I did hate something about the lyrics and the title, there was something disgusting even, but I overlooked that -blatantly- because life is imperfect, this they always say; sometimes I even take that as proof of things being right.
Until today finally I'm ready to search for the lyrics, to take a closer look at what it says, because you know, there's one or two words that I'm not sure about. I think to myself, as I'm searching through Google, that this may just be a sign of me being able to let go. And I am even thrilled, of course I do know it's a lie, who doesn't enjoy a silly little lie to oneself every now and then. Did I mention? This particular word doesn't make sense in the lyrics of the song, the "lie", so I'm looking forward to clarify that. Well it turns out this song is not about love, but quite the opposite. Go figure, the word lie is making tripple sense now rather than none.
I have effectively made a fool of myself -to myself only- for four months, and would not find out if I hadn't just googled it. Now think about the meaning I was giving to this song, how it rippled into me, how it made me hopeful. So now what I'm thinking is, what if none of it was true. Not just the song, but my experiences, my own meanings, my own fears, my regrets. Well, if it were that way, I would be forced to be happy, wouldn't I?
PS: Speaking of lies, would I even want to ever let go?